A Sadist and A Masochist

When my wife and I began this there were a lot of terms and areas we looked at. Some applied to us and others didn't. Some things didn't appeal or apply to what we wanted, some we're perfect for us, some indifferent, others beyond our limits. One of those terms we felt was not in our area of interest and didn't apply to us was sadomasochism. To me the term almost seemed dirty and, well, sadistic. I won't lie. The idea of being spanked (and I had been spanked) was hot but it was more of an erotic spanking than anything. I didn't desire the extreme pain of it and couldn't understand how someone could derive pleasure from pain. Now my views have changed.

It started with a great day. I'm at work and my wife and I are texting all day. W are flirting, chatting, she's teasing by ordering me to stay hard and having me send periodical pictures as proof. Then it blew up. We got into an argument, I was an asshole, and it ruined the mood. I knew when I went home it was going be a long evening of her angry and there would be nothing enjoyable about it. Then I get this grand idea. I offer to let her light my ass up. Not the erotic D/s spankings we had done up to that point but to let loose and let her aggression and anger out. I didn't expect any excitement on either end I was just willing to literally put my ass on the line to help her with her anger and put her in a better mood. 

This is my ass after 20 swats, and then 121 more later in the night.

When I got home we went to the bedroom and I stripped down. I didn't bend over her knee as usual. Instead I was made to bend over the bed and then she unleashed swats like never before and I counted them off just as I had on our prior spankings (One, thank you Goddess), but this was a spanking like unlike what we had done, with a force like never before. Twenty swats later she shocked me by saying she was done. Come to find out she stopped when she drew blood.

As we discussed it she felt better, getting her aggression out, but felt she had to stop before she hurt me or went too far. Little did she know I could take much more so I told her. This gave her an idea, and when she gets an idea I shudder in both excitement and anxiety. She tells me she wants to test my limit later that night. She's going to bend me over just like before, swing the paddle as hard as she can, and not stop until I use the safe word. A few hours later I was again naked and knelt over the bed. 121 swats later (see above picture, that's me immediately after. It was black the next day) I tapped out. And truth be known I think I could've taken more it was just that swat 121 caught me off guard.

The odd part. After the fact when we talked about it, she admitted that she got sexually excited spanking me to that extreme, loving inflicting  the pain and I, in turn, admitted I was highly aroused at the pain I was receiving. Through this anger, through this testing of limits we discovered that she is a true sadist and I'm a true masochist. Now, now we are looking for other safe ways to explore this and to expand our horizons. We've just added another dimension to our lifestyle.

Testing an Oral Strap-On And Icy Hot

I'm going to start this entry a little off the topic. I hit a 1,000 page views last night. Now this might not sound like a big deal, but over the years with my love of writing I've written several blogs both under my name and under an alter ego and none of those have ever hit a 1,000 views in ten days. So for those of you who have read I'd like to say think you. I'm averaging 104 hits a day. That's a lot of traffic for a blog that is only being advertised on three sites. Now on to the point.

My wife had me order "The Accomodator Oral Strap-On Chin Dildo" the other day. This is something I'd been hoping. In my many adventures in femdom porn the only thing that turned me on more than a good video of a submissive man with a dildo strapped on to his chin and being forced to fuck his Mistress (such as this video)  was foot worship and SPH (small penis humiliation).

When the new toy came in yesterday I spent my whole day doing nothing but anticipating bed time. My mind was racing. Would the act live up to the fantasy? Or would it be a let down? Would she love it or would she hate it? So you can imagine my glee and emotions come time to test out the new toy last night.

We began with a good make out session the eventually lead to her having me put on the new toy. I slipped on the chin strap-on and then I dove right in. I slid it inside her and started slowly fucking her with it, my head moving back and forth, my nose brushing against her. Then as I sped up more and more I started to lick her clit with my tongue sporadically as I would thrust in. It wasn't long before she was grabbing my hair and pushing my head back and forth, grinding her hips, pressing against my ears with her thighs, and then came to an orgasm.

Then she rolled over over on her back and put her ass in the air and had me slide into her from behind. Now while I must say I loved it myself the first time, seeing her pussy coming at me but unable to really do much about it, to catch her odor, to know that I was pleasing her but wasn't truly touching her, it was the ultimate tease and put my mind in that place of submission it had never been before. But then when she rolled over and I came at it from behind and I saw her ass coming at me (I'm an ass man and I adore my wife's ass), her ass cheeks slapping against my face, my nose sliding deep between her cheeks, this was the ultimate for me. She started rocking back and forth slapping her ass harder and harder against my face until she'd had yet another orgasm.

After her second orgasm she had me lie flat on my back and then she mounted my face, sliding the chin dildo into her pussy, her gorgeous clit rubbing against my nose, and she began to ride it up and down until she quickly came to her third orgasm. And I have to say here, after ten years, this was three of the quickest orgasms I've ever seen my wife come to.

After she was done with her third orgasm she told me I'm "not done yet, it's time for regular duties". I knew exactly what this meant. So at this point I took off the chin dildo and lowered myself between her legs. That's when I began to tease her with my tongue like I so love to do, licking all along her pussy lips before I finally parted them and started to concentrate on her clit. For the next minutes I alternated between licking her clitoris like it was the greatest treat in the world (because it truly is) and taking it between my lips and sucking on it while she grabbed my hair by both hands and pulled me farther and farther into her, driving my nose hard into her pussy as I licked for all I was worth. Then at the height of her pleasure she squeezed her thighs together hard, wrapped her feet around the back of my head, and started to fold her toes in (an always sure sign my wife is having an orgasm), and came for the fourth time.

This is when we tried our second new thing of the night. She then had me lay back and she placed the blindfold over my eyes. With me unable to see she tied my hands together above my head. After I was blinded and bound she started to stroke me to a full erection. It was then that I first felt her rubbing lube on my now hard and rigid cock. After she rubbed it in she moved back and just let it be for a minute. Then the burning sensation set in. That's when it set in and I knew what she'd done; Icy Hot for lube. For the next few minutes she would just sit back and let it burn, and then lean in and blow on it giving a cold sensation. Then she started to stroke me. Now understand this. Normally when she teases me if she prolongs taking me to that edge I can take up ten minutes, sometimes fifteen. If she really focuses and wants me there quick she can usually get me there in four to five minutes. But something about this Icy Hot, the burning sensation, the sub space she put me in, it was a minute, maybe two after she started teasing me and I was already at the brink of orgasm, so she backed off and again let the burn set in. She repeated this three times, bringing me to the very edge of an orgasm, and then backing off. Then after the third time she pulled the blindfold off, untied me, and told me we were done, leaving me completely and totally denied and frustrated. It was at this point I was told she'd been too nice as of late and to go clean myself up.

I'm pretty sure she understood just how turned on I was, because she followed me into the bathroom as I cleaned myself up. My assessment? That Oral Strap-On may have been some of the best money we've invested lately and honestly, while I was curious about the Icy Hot I wasn't totally certain I'd enjoy it, but I absolutely loved it and look forward to the next time.

A Little CBT/Bondage and Facesitting

Coming into this I had certain limits. Things I never thought I'd do. The funny thing has happened along the way; my wife has me so turned on and so submissive that I've been doing away with many of those limits and exploring those things. It began with cum eating as I've already discussed. Never did I intend or desire to eat my own cum but as you read in my previous blogs not only has it been implemented, it will now and forever be a steady part of my life and one in which humiliates me yet turns me on.

Another one of those things is CBT (cock and ball torture). I won't go into everything we did the other night, there's far too much and some of it has already been covered. Instead, I'm going to focus on two main things..

The first of those two main things is CBT and Cock and Ball Bondage.  The idea of being tied up and tortured down there never sounded in the least bit appealing. I've read of and seen videos of men being kicked in the junk and just thought "how does a man get any pleasure out of that?" And while I never think I'll go that far with it, I was surprised by just how much I did enjoy a little cock and ball bondage and light CBT.

She started by blindfolding and putting my arms at my sides, spread out, and ordered me not to move them. Then I felt something wrapping firmly around my balls and penis, and tied securely. For the next twenty minutes, she alternated between rubbing and teasing my cock and balls, to flipping my slapping my penis and flipping my balls. I must say, being bound down there increased the sensation a lot. Every touch, every breath, every graze of the fingertip was amplified heavily, making the tease even more intense. As for the pain of the light CBT, it too was arousing. The flipping of the balls was enough to make me squirm but not enough to be revolting, and the slapping of the penis only made me all the much harder.

Now this has went from something I never had interest in to becoming something I want to explore even more. I can't wait to be tied up tighter to further amplify the feeling and intensify the tease. And oddly enough I never thought I would say this, but I'm curious to see just how much more CBT I can take, almost hoping she continues to go harder and harder with it until we finally reach that threshold, because I'm confident I can take much more than what she dished out. But it is a learning process and she has both our pleasure, comfort, and safety to keep in mind as we try new things.

The second thing we did that I absolutely loved involved face sitting. First, you have to understand something with me. I'm big on smell,. To me, smell is one of the strongest senses. Part of my love of feet is to just take in the aroma of them. Part of the fun of going down on my wife is not only the smell as I do it, but wearing that smell on my face afterwards. So after she unbound me, she took off her wet and soaked panties, stuffed them into my mouth for a gag, and mounted my face.

This might have been the most erotic and frustrating thing we have done thus far. I can taste her, but barely on her panties. Her pussy and ass are grniding on my face, I'm forced to breath through my nose with my mouth gagged. I'm taking in her every aroma and I know I can't lick it, all I can do is dream about it which drove me nuts. She pushes her ass down farther on my face until she has stuck my nose more less inside her. Meanwhile, she's going to town on me down there, teasing me and taunting me. Stroking me to the edge of an orgasm, then stopping. Wrapping her lips around me, teasing the head with her tongue ring I've come to love, then stopping. It was the ultimate in teasing. Constantly keeping me on edge while I'm tortured by the smells I've come to love so much. Then when she finally felt I had taken enough, she wrapped her lips firmly around my manhood and brought me to a mind blowing orgasm before turning around and spitting it out of her mouth and directly into mine.

This was only two of the many things we did this night, but these two were new and both were great experiences. And afterward she was so wet, she was dripping. Then it was her turn...but that's another story for another time.

Introduction

I've gained permission from my wife to do this blog as long as it's done anonymously. So no, that's not my real name and you'll never know my real real name.

I suppose the best way to start this out by doing an introduction of sorts and explain what this is what's to come.

First about Her since she's the most important person in my world. My wife is someone who is a naturally dominant person and loves to have her way. She's highly intelligent, which is one of the things that first attracted me to her. She's also a very sexual person, but has lacked confidence in herself and has self esteem issues after a pretty rough first marriage and just a run of bad luck for years. But she truly is the Goddess I treat her as and I've spent ten years of your marriage trying to show her this.

Now me since I'm a partyof the equation. I'm in my mid-30's and I've known I was submissive since I was around 12 or 13 years old. Over the years my submissiveness has grown stronger and stronger as have my fetishes. I'm the type of person who has always been in a place of power or leader of some sort and submissiveness just came easy with me and my personality: loves to make others happy, non-confrontational, puts others needs ahead of my own.

My biggest kinks when it comes to being submissive outside of pleasing my wife first and foremost: tease and denial, orgasm control/chastity, giving forced oral (and rim jobs), spanking, and a extreme foot fetish. These are just the heavy hitters. I'm open to and into much more.

The brief story of us - married for a decade. When we were first married we we're like teenagers. We were all over each other all the time, we went out of our way for one another, It was all sex all the time. Then certain life changing events happened and our sex life slowed down. Over the years it became sporadic. We would hit spans when we could go at it nonstop for days or weeks but then we might hit times where we go a month or two without anything. A lot of this was my fault because I was always of the mindset of that I'm a man, I always want it and never say no. She'll come to me when she wants it so I'm not turned down, and thus I was rarely initiating or making her feel desired even though she was.

Then came the major issue that would cripple our sex life: Internet porn. When I wasn't getting regular sex I turned to porn. It got to the point where I was looking at porn (always femdom of some sort) on a regular basis and was masturbating at least once a day, sometimes two to three times a day so even if the occasion would arise with her I was very little good for her. Though there is no excuse, I will say this much. On days I thought I had a chance or I would actually plan on initiating I'd leave porn alone.

Then it all changed. I felt that while I knew we loved each other to no end, things could be better. I also knew my wife, her personality, and partially understood how she thinks (as much as man can understand the mind of a woman anyway). After years of hiding my fantasies and desires out of fear of how she might look at me or react (a decade is a long time) I finally opened up to her about all of it with the thoughts of not just how it could fix our sex life, but strengthen our marriage.

So as I sat at work one day with both of us flirting back and forth for a full eight hour shift at work I had it in my mind that today was the day. I came home thought about how much better I am at expressing my true feelings and thoughts and much more articulate when I write than when I speak. I sat down behind a keyboard and explained to her my desire to be submissive to her. And I don't just mean the occasional play in the bedroom but on a full time regular basis. I poured my heart out to her and explained to her how this could help us, help our marriage, and how I felt that this was something she would love and enjoy just as much as me, if not more-so. I also made it clear however that if she was doing this just for me and not for herself that it wasn't fair to either of us.

She read it and she loved it. Since then we have been living this lifestyle. Our sex life is better, our marriage is better, even the vanilla things are much better. In the time we've done this my wife has gained confidence both sexually and nonsexually. She has settled into the dominant role like a veteran (and I truly do think she enjoys at least as much as I do, if not more). Me, I couldn't be happier to be submissive.

What this blog will be is my life in submission to my wife. I will discuss the things we do with one another, telling stories sometimes in detail, sometimes in less detail. I'll discuss my feelings and my desires. I'll discuss how this is effecting other parts of our life. I'll give my opinions and thoughts on various parts of this lifestyle. And she's in charge so I'll also write about anything she demands of me.

So sit back and enjoy. I'd love to get any and all feedback you have. Feel free to comment on anything you like.